Welcome to Smacked Up! Isn’t Andrew Johnson just the coolest? This new banner kicks so much ass. Now who’s looking to get Smacked?
The Mexican JBL, Alberto Del Rio is out to start the show. He says Survivor Series is going to be great this year because his team will destroy Rey Mysterio’s team at the PPV. He then shows the video of him beating Sgt. Slaughter from RAW. He says he is our hero. I feel so safe now. MVP’s music hits and he makes his way to the ring. MVP says he’s tired of ADR disrespecting the ring and what it stands for. MVP says ADR is too stupid to realize what the legends have built. ADR says MVP will never be a legend and MVP tells ADR he wants to beat him down. ADR says he’s not fighting MVP tonight because he’s taking on Rey Mysterio later on. ADR says if MVP is so ready to fight then he can take on a member of his team, Drew McIntyre. Cue the man whose wife just got canned.
Solid opening segment. It helped build the Traditional Survivor Series match that was thrown together and announced on RAW. MVP and ADR are both good talkers so it made this entertaining.
MVP pinned Drew McIntyre (*3/4)
They got about seven minutes to work and it was a decent match, nothing to write home about. Drew took control of the match after hiding under the ring and when MVP went after him he grabbed his arm and slammed it into the steel forming the frame of the ring. MVP made a comeback and picked up the win after Drew rushed into the corner and MVP moved and then MVP hit a head kick to get the pin. Tough day for Mr. McIntyre, his wife gets fired and now he loses to MVP. How can I feel sorry for him? He married Tiffany, she’s freakin’ hot. She’s also crazy, but so are most women. It all depends on where she falls on the Crazy/Hot Scale. Don’t know what the Crazy/Hot Scale is? Start watching How I Met Your Mother. You won’t regret it.
We see Edge and he is talking about how pissed Kane is. We cut down to see Paul Bearer is still tied up. Edge says no one is going to find them and if Paul’s a good boy he’ll take him to see Kane. Edge wants to have a drag race but Paul doesn’t. Edge wants to know what game Paul would like to play. Edge starts naming some and then says he has a better idea.
Teddy Long is chatting with Chavo Guerrero when a very angry Kane walks in. He wants to know where Paul Bearer is. Teddy doesn’t know and Kane takes his anger out on a couple of couches and a lamp. Hey, I love lamp. The good news is that the Bragging Rights Trophy was unharmed during this.
Jack Swagger defeated Chris Masters via Submission (*)
This was the ol’ three minute special that Swagger won after getting out of the Masterlock lock and then slamming Masters’ ankle into the ring post softening him up for the Ankle Lock. I love how the announcers were trying to put over Master’s during the match saying when he first debuted he was all about power now he’s added some technical moves to his arsenal. Why? Because he busted out a couple of shoulder tackles? I will say that running shoulder tackles and not much else will make you a multiple time WWE Champion.
More Fun with Edge and Paul. Edge says he’s going to have to stick and move to conquer Kane. He says Paul can help by playing dodgeball with him. In case you didn’t know Paul is still tied up in the wheelchair. Edge misses him a couple of times and then drills him in the head. Edge ends it by saying “That was really using your head”. Clever.
Dolph Ziggler comes out for his match and talks about what a role he’s on and how he’s undefeated as Intercontinental Champion. Interesting stat considering he lost three matches in one week to Daniel Bryan. He then tells his opponent, Kaval that while the internet fanboys may think he’s special he’s not Mr. Ziggles.
Kaval beat Dolph Ziggler (3/4*)
Michael Cole was in his full “I hate the internet” mode during this. They exchanged a bunch of pin attempts, Ziggler tried to grab the tights but Kaval reversed it into another pin attempt and got the three count. This went all of two minutes.
After the match, Kaval grabs a mic and says he’s using his NXT title shot to challenge Dolph for the Intercontinental Championship at the Survivor Series. Um, he does know that Wade Barrett used his to get a WWE Championship match, right? So why would he want to use his on a secondary title? Make no sense, right? Well welcome to the world of pro-wrest…err, I mean sports-entertainment.
Welcome back to Fun with Edge and Paul. Edge is hungry. He’s going to get some pizza. That’s it.
Cody Rhodes beat Kofi Kingston (**)
This was a solid match coming in at around ten minutes. At the start of the match Kofi slapped Dasher and we all know how Dasher doesn’t like to have his faced touched so had to leave the ring and check himself out in the mirror on the back of his jacket. This was back and forth for the most part and the end came after each man missed their signature kick, Cody grabbed Kofi’s tights and pulled him into the Cross Rhodes to pick up the win. Get a new finisher Cody, because that one sucks.
We head to the back and Kane is screaming at some woman. Is that Rosa Mendes? He says Paul was the only one who ever understood him. He says Edge doesn’t know what torture is but he will when he finds him.
Laycool beats Kelly Kelly and Natalya (1/4*)
Laycool picks up the win after about a minute when the both kick Natalya in the face. Well, that was a waste.
Who’s ready for some more Fun with Edge and Paul? Edge dumps some marinara sauce on Paul’s head and then shoves a brownie in his ear. He then slams a pizza on his head and then says it’s time to see Kane. What a shame, no more ridiculously pointless segments?
Kane is in the boiler room screaming. Then it turns into crying. Poor baby misses his daddy.
The Big Show pins Tyler Reks (1/4*)
Show picks up the win with a Chokeslam in under two minutes. You guys don’t need an in depth breakdown, do you?
Josh Mathews is in the back with ADR. Josh wants to know if ADR is confident he can beat Rey tonight. He says Rey will witness his greatness and he will give the Universe an authentic hero. Please do so ADR! I need a hero!
We head to the parking area and Fun with Edge and Paul has moved to the arena. Paul still has a slice of pizza on his head. Edge removes the tape from Paul’s mouth so he can scream for his son. I guess Kane heard him because he’s on a rampage through the hallways looking for him. We head back to the parking area and Paul is just chilling in a minivan. Kane finds him. Why is Kane calling him “Paul”? Shouldn’t he be calling him “Dad”? Kane wants to know where Edge is. Look up. Edge is on top of the minivan and comes crashing down onto Kane. Edge gets back in the minivan and speeds away with Paul. The side door is still open. That’s dangerous, fella.
Rey Mysterio beat Alberto Del Rio via Disqualification (No Rating)
The wrest.. I mean sports entertained for about a minute and then the rest of ADR’s Survivor Series team came to the ring and attacked Rey. Then Rey’s team came to make the save. Teddy Long comes out and makes a ten man Survivor Series Showdown battle royal.
The Big Show and Rey Mysterio won the Survivor Series Showdown Battle Royal (*1/4)
It came down to them and Swagger as the last three men. Rey hit the 619 on Swagger and the Show threw him out. This went about five minutes. It was your typical battle royal fare.
Rey celebrates on Show’s shoulders as SmackDown goes off the air.
The Diagnosis
Here’s the problem with SmackDown. They spoil you. Some weeks you’ll get three matches going ten+ minutes and at sometimes two *** or higher matches and then when you don’t get that you’re disappointed. SmackDown didn’t meet its own high standards this week, but still served a purpose. It built the PPV and rather nicely too. Most of the show was devoted to building the Traditional Survivor Series matches with the opening segment and six matches with members of the opposing teams going against each other. WWE could have just announced the match on RAW, mentioned it again tonight and that would have been it, but at least they tried to make you care about it. The rest of the show was devoted to the World Heavyweight Championship match. I didn’t like the kidnapping angle last week, but after seeing where it went this week I do like it. Edge knows that Kane is unstoppable right now after disposing of the Undertaker, so what does he do? He goes after the only person that Kane cares about, his poppa. It has cracked Kane, geez we saw him crying. Edge is going for the psychological advantage over his much larger and stronger opponent and it fit his character so well. The other two things covered on the show were the Divas Championship match. How are we supposed to believe Natalya can win a handicap match when she lost a tag team match? Not that it really matter, I’m just saying. The other thing is that Kaval is now taking on Dolph for the Intercontinental Championship. Anyone else bothered at how dumb that makes Kaval look? Oh well, the go-home to Survivor Series did a good job of building the PPV so the 11/19 SmackDown gets a 6/10.
Star of the Night
This week the award goes to Andrew Johnson for making that awesome banner to spruce up my review. Thanks Professor Prefessorson. Ha.
Question of the Night
The last two weeks I’ve asked you a random question in the review to spark a discussion. Well, I’ve decided to make it a permanent fixture and stick it here at the end. So here goes: Have you enjoyed Kane’s run a World Heavyweight Champion thus far? Ponder that and let me know in the comments.
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